How Women's Rugby Grows Confidence and Empowers Girls

I always find it amusing how different groups of people see me: friends, family, people I haven’t seen in a while, school teachers and university lecturers, and the people who meet me as yoga-teacher-flo. Yoga-teacher-flo tends to be told she is calm but confident, joyful but also gentle, all of which is certainly my intention, not just for when I am teaching but in my day-to-day life too. However, those who primarily know me outside of teaching yoga usually see me as loud, boisterous and clumsy. I think it is probably less surprising for these people to find out that I played rugby from the ages of 10 to 16. 

I am a huge advocate for women’s rugby. Although I stopped playing, due to a mixture of non-rugby-related back problems and other commitments, I implore any girl to play it, and I will tell you why.

Confidence

Whether I come across differently in different settings, the overwhelming opinion people have of me is that I am confident and have presence. And I’d have to agree, but I’m not always sure that confident is the best way to describe it. There are plenty of occasions when I feel nervous, shy, and unsure of myself, which seems to be the opposite of confidence. However, even in these moments, when I feel far from confident, I have something that, in my opinion, is much more powerful: I trust in myself.

To play rugby as a teenage girl, you already need a certain amount of backbone - it doesn’t quite have the same social standing as being on the netball team, if you catch my drift. Girls are not expected, or allowed, to be dirty, or sweaty, or rough, or gross, like boys are. We are expected almost from birth to contort ourselves into the pretty, meek, and gentle image of a porcelain doll, that cannot be played with too roughly lest she gets damaged. But I’ve found that it is exactly the blood, sweat, and mud of the rugby pitch that built up my confidence and made me trust my body and myself. 

You need so much confidence in yourself, your body, your skill and your judgment, to run at another person at full speed and launch yourself at their moving legs. Girls are not encouraged to learn just how strong and powerful their bodies are, or what they can do. Nor are girls encouraged to be physical, and have physical presence. I’m not saying that girls should be pushing each other around at bus stops, but physicality helps you to feel more confident in yourself, and impacts how you move through the world.

Playing rugby through my teenage years made me feel like I was invincible. I never felt fragile or delicate; I felt brave and strong. I walked, and still do, with an air of power, or at least a feeling of it, because I spent every Sunday flinging people to the ground. Even when I felt intimidated by the loud boys on the bus, I knew that if it came to it, I could probably take them; I’d certainly run through bigger girls before. Whether that assumption was true or not, it changed the way I saw myself and my place in the world.

Even if I could probably no longer tackle to save my life, I’ve retained this feeling of trust and power in my body and in myself. 

A very young Flo winning Club Player of the Year at Painswick Rugby Club. I started a girls' rugby team at this club, which has since folded, making me the only woman on this shield in the 150-year history of the club.

Teamwork

Women’s rugby is powerful because of the way it forces you to deeply trust other women, as well as yourself. The world teaches women to have a crab mentality. When crabs are stuck in a bucket, instead of working together to free themselves, they will pull down and attack any crabs that attempt to flee. An insidious scarcity mindset brought on by a lack of representation and fleeting opportunities causes women to do the same, just look at how female celebrities are pitted against one another in the media. 

Rugby is the ultimate team sport. By the nature of the game, every player has their individual role and therefore individual value. It’s not just the try scorers that are the star players; every player is crucial at different moments of the game, and every player must rely on the communication, commitment and skill of their teammates, not just for the game to run smoothly, but often for their safety. For example, the pack (the players that bind together in the scrum) literally support each other's weight as they push as one against the other team, working in unison. Otherwise, they risk seriously injuring each other. Rugby creates a space for genuine teamwork and camaraderie that is often hard to find in other women’s spaces. 

Body Image

Another brilliant positive of the variety of positions that make up a rugby team is that not only are all different sizes and types of bodies welcome, they are necessary. Short, tall, thin, fat, faster, slower, your rugby team needs you just as you are. 

Maybe you’re a young woman who is not into rolling around in the mud on a rainy November morning, but even just watching a game shows that elite professional athletes come in a wide range of builds and appearances. Ilona Maher is an excellent example. She's number 10 on the USA team, and she's easy to spot on the pitch due to her bold red lipstick. Rugby is a great sport if you're not into traditional femininity, but you also don't have to sacrifice any part of who you are to fit into the game.

The Women’s World Cup is just coming to the end of the group stages, and club rugby season is about to begin. I hope I have convinced you to start playing, introduce your daughter or any other girls in your life to it (there is a relatively large number of girls’ and women's sides in Gloucestershire), or to watch a game or two, even if you just want to see another England women’s side absolutely dominate a sport.

Playing rugby has had a profoundly positive impact on my life and how I see myself and other women. The most revolutionary thing a woman can be is strong, capable and confident, and I truly believe rugby offers girls and women the opportunity to be those things and more.